cg arsch Wed Jun 24, 2009 5:49 pm
the most peanuterized rp of my career and prolly the weirdest:
Ring announcer: Next match up is a one fall match. Entering first he is one half of the TIZ Tag Champion, hailing form Vienna, Austria, he is C. G. ARRRSCH!!
The music hits.
[add Benny Lava here]
The crowd immediately realizes that something just isn’t right.
CG comes out pissed off holding a microphone in his hands.
CG: Hold on, hold on, cut the music, music, MUSIC!!!
It silences, yet the crowd still seems to be in a good mood.
Slowly he proceeds to the ring, but is reluctant to enter it.
CG: Who is in charge for the technical stuff here. I’ve got some words for yer: Obviously you are not smarter than a peanut. This is not my trademarked Arschtron and not my trademarked entrance music, you idiot!! You better start to tal
Speaking of peanuts what in the Wargod’s name am I doing here. It’s like the almighty peanut is running the show now. Why am I supposed to compete with some like Kaptio? I’m am one half of the TIZ tag team champions and I’m a loyal disciples of the almighty peanut…. Ehm … warpeanut …. Wargods, of course. It utterly lack sense to schedule me in a match with Kapito, who hadn’t done anything remarkable here in year. No offence, but I’m just recounting the facts, since you lost the tag titles there hasn’t be much on the sunny side for you.
Somehow the music hits again and the audience responds enthusiastically. An Indian dance group enters accompanied by a man in a big elephants costume representing the Indian god Ganesha. They make there way to the center of the ring the music still playing. Ganesha places itself right in the middle while the rest of group performs its bollywoodlike dance.
CG: This is totally absurd!!!
He had not completely finished this very sentences when one of the good looking dancer grabbed him by the arm and led him to the ring. A stunned CG is handed over a golden peanut.
CROWD: HOLY PEANUT, AMIGHTY PEANUT!
CG is ordered by another dancer to feed Ganesha with the golden peanut.
CG: I can’t do it, it would be blasphemous. I will not betray the Wargods.
Suddenly I voice is to be perceived.
VOICE: I am Thanderimdim Dim, the voice of the Wargods .
CG: What, what, WHAT!?
VOICE: I am Thanderimdim Dim, the voice of the Wargods.
Realizing who he is talking to throws himself down to worship his higher powers.
CG: I apologize for being questioned in my faith.
VOICE: Apologize to my nuts!
CROWD: YEAAAAAAH
VOICE: And now CG…. FEED GANESHA, worship the sacred peanut!
Without further doubt CG takes a firm grip on the golden peanut, lifts it high into the air, says a little prayer.
VOICE: Yeah finally you got it.
In a ritualistic manner places the golden peanut on Ganesha trunk, who in turn eats it with passion.
The ring is filled with a shinning golden light that almost blindfolds everybody who dares looking at it.
When finally the light fades out CG is the only one to remain in the ring. Literally the crowd is running wild.
CG: Holy sh***, I really shouldn’t have eaten these cookies, if you smell what the Arsch is poopin’
Anyway Kapito: Come out and play, play, PLAY!!!
Nothing happens.
CG: Hey dude, come out!! I haven’t all night to spend on you.
Nothing happens
CG: Then I gonna solve some crossword puzzles.
Nothing happens
CG: I dare you come out, or I will insult your mama!
Nothing happens
CG: Would you please, please please come out.
Please, please, PLEASE!!!
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